Oprah Holic Show!
by Sushy
Summary: Now imagine the characters from xxxHolic going to the Oprah Winfrey show...what would that turn up to be? Find out and give me ideas to continue the show!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** – Now to change a bit, I decided to do a story about my favorite Manga collections… What would it happen if the characters from xxxHolic went to the Oprah Winfrey show?... Find out!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters from my manga collection and also their past story. They all belong to Clamp! And the Oprah Winfrey Show it's also not mine.

**------------------------------------------------------------------ # ---------------------------------------------------------**

Masculine Voice: And now, let's start the Oprah Winfrey shoooooooooooow

_-crowd goes wild and music starts-_

**.: Tataratataaaaaa :.**

_-crowd claps as Oprah comes from the back-_

Oprah: Hello everybody!! Jimmy, you can put that down.

_-Jimmy, holding a big sign saying CLAP goes backstage-_

Stupid guy from audience: It's not CLAP it's CLAMP!

Body guard named Joe: YOU SHUT UP

Scared stupid guy from the audience: Ok Arnold… -.- '

Oprah: Welcome to this show! Now before I start, let me just say…Because today it's my 16549875165° show I decided to buy every1 in the audience, a house in the Bahamas!!! Pick your key and address on you way out thank you!

_-Jimmy holds sign saying CLAP-_

_-crowd claps-_

Oprah: Today, we'll be talking about a particular family… This one comes from ALL the way from Japan. Let's give a warm welcome to Kimihiro Watanuki, Yuko Ichihara, Maru and Moro and Mokona!!

_-the named characters come in and sit on the big sofa-_

_-Jimmy holds sign-_

_-Body guard named Joe glare's at stupid guy from the audience-_

_-Stupid guy from the audience gets up to pee-_

Oprah: Now why don't you introduce yourselves to the audience! Kimihiro, tell us about you.

Kimihiro: I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!!!

Oprah: Ok...Something other than that?

Kimihiro: Call me Watanuki.

Oprah: Fine. (jeez)

Watanuki: So, My name was already stated and… well. I work for Yuko.

Oprah: Is that all you have to say about yourself?

Watanuki: No, I'd also like to say…HI HIMAWARI!!!!!

_-waves like a freak to the camera-_

Oprah: And who's Himawari?

Watanuki: The most beautifull girl there is. I love her!! I just hate it when Doméki comes and ruins my perfect moments with her…

Oprah: I'm sensing some hostility there…

Watanuki: Yes I hate that freaking pompous.

Doméki: HEY! _-jumps from the audience-_ YOU SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

Watanuki: I just did!... Uh-oH.

Doméki: Yeah you better be sorry!!!

Watanuki: AAAAHHH DEAMON DEAMON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!

_-runs and screams like little girl-_

Oprah: So while they are getting acquainted…

_-Watanuki runs past Oprah_: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh…GO BACK TO THE SHADOWS!!!!!

Oprah: ...we'll continue with the rest of the characters. Yuko I hear you're a very mysterious person. Tell us more about it.

Watanuki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahhhhhh YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

Yuko: I'm a powerfull sourcerer who can make your wishes come true in exchange of something that is valuable to you.

Oprah: That's…inspiring… So tell us how did you meet Watanuki?

Watanuki: You need me?

Oprah: No, you're not important anymore.

Watanuki: Oh ok. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHhhhh YOU CREATURE FROM HELL!!!!

Yuko: It was something inevitable. He was meant to come by my house. It's something you can't fight against.

Oprah: I see… Well let's move on. Maru and Moro, I think you two are really cute, are you twins?

Manga Addict from audience: HEY!!! Something isn't right here!!!

Oprah: ….What?...

Manda Addict: Maru and Moro can't come out of the house!!! It's not possible for them!!! It's written on the book!! Book n° 2, Page 20. They don't have a soul!

Oprah: Then how come they're right here….????

Yuko: Oh I just created a hologram of them, so that they could be present. But they're watching from the Tv in our kitchen.

Watanuki: uuf….puuf…. I'm …. Tired….

Oprah: Ok… I have to take a deep breath…whooooosaaaaaaaaa

Mokona: I'd like to say something!

Oprah: Whatt????????? THE FUR BALL SPEAKS???

Mokona: Hey!! I'm not a fur ball…I'm Mokona.

Oprah: Ok… so… what do you have to say?

Mokona: I think that we should make a pause for a commercial.

Oprah: Oh you're absolutely right!!

Yuko: But I didn't get a chance to talk about my work!

Stupid guy from audience: Hey gipsy!! Can you tell me my future??

Yuko: Why yes. You'll die within 5…4…3…2…1…

_-Body Guard Named Joe dives into the audience and lands on stupid guy. He dies.-_

Oprah: Thank you Joe.

Joe: My pleasure. I'll be back!

Oprah: Ok let's make a break… We'll continue later… I need to freshen up a little bit.

Watanuki: Good I also need to make a phone call to Himawari.

Doméki: AH I FOUND YOU, YOU LITTLE FREAK

Watanuki: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! DEAMON DEAMON AAAAHHHH

Mokona: Cut!

**------------------------------------------------------------------#------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N** – hehe, I'll have to think of some more things to say… I'm out of ideas now! X') post some reviews to help me get ideas!!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** – Let's move on to part two! I hope it's still funny; I woke up 10m ago… xD

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters from my manga collection and also their past story. They all belong to Clamp! And the Oprah Winfrey Show it's also not mine. (ah the powers of copy paste xD)

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------#-------------------------------------------------------------**

Masculine Voice: And nooooow… We start part 2 of Oprah Winfrey shooooow!

**.: Taratatarataraaaaaaam :.**

Oprah: Hello welcome back! I hope we all had time to put our ideas together…Let's see if we can pick up from where we started… So…Wait. Where's Watanuki???

Yuko: He's backstage making a phone call.

Oprah: What??? Joe!!! Go get him!! I don't care if you have to beat him up!!

Joe: Yes ma'am.

_-returns with Watanuki dragged by his feet-_

Watanuki: But I didn't get a chance to say goodbyeeeeeeee… _-sobs-_

Oprah: Oh just sit down and behave!!! How old are you??

Watanuki: My birthday was recently.

Oprah: When?

Watanuki: Ah duuuuh… Can't you speak Japanese??? My name says my birthday!!!

Oprah: …

Manga addict from the audience: HIS NAME MEANS 1rst of APRIL!!!

Oprah: That's it, NO MORE HOUSE ON THE BAHAMAS FOR YOU!!! Joe; show him the exit!!!

Joe: Yes ma'am.

Manga addict: No wait please!! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh _–screams fade-_

Oprah: And if anyone else interrupts the show, they will also be gone from here!!!! Now… So Kimihiro…

Kimihiro: I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!!!

Oprah: Ok ok sorry. Watanuki; he works for Yuko. Why is it that when I say your other name you scream like an idiot??

Watanuki: Sorry. Too much Sixth Sense…

Yuko: Actually he does see demons. And they are everywhere. Even on this room.

_-audience gasps, babies cry, women grab their husbands and scream FRED DO SOMETHING!!, a kid asks if they can leave etc… Chaos takes over.-_

Oprah: There are no demons in this room!!! Can we please continue the show???

Director: ah sorry we can't. The cameramen he just ran away because he's a Catholic, so he had to go to the nearest Church and pray.

Oprah: But this can't go like this!!! EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!

_-audience looks at her.-_

Oprah: Thank you!!! Now… Oh no where's the fur ball???

Watanuki: Mokona is flirting with that lady's dog over there.

Oprah: But dogs aren't allowed in!!! Wait that's not a dog that's a wig!

Mokona: eeeeeeeeeekk… Oh my God it looked like an animal!

Watanuki: Yeah, a dead rat maybe. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

_-old lady with the dead-rat wig steps up-_

Watanuki: huh, sorry I didn't mean to…

Joe: HEY!!! THAT's MY GRANDMA!!

Watanuki: But …it- I-

Joe: I'll get you for that!!!

Watanuki: AAAHHHH YOU SEE??? DEMON!!!!!!!! _–runs-_

Oprah: No not again please!!!! _–cries-_ Wait a minute, if the cameramen's gone, who's filming???

Director: Oh, I am.

Oprah: Then who's directing????

Director: …Demon?

Watanuki: NO HES RUNNING AFTER ME, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Yuko: …Demons are taking over. I can feel their presence. _–room gets dark –_ I'll create a Kekkai barrier to protect us from them. Their aura is strong. They will not leave easily!

Light guy: No sorry I clicked the off buttons of the light… _-lights turn on-_

Oprah: Kekkai?? Demons?? Aura??? This has been going too far!!! I give up!! Everybody leave, leave to the Bahamas, I'll do a show next week.

Watanuki: DEMON!!! SOMEBODY CONTROL HIM!!!!

Yuko: You will invite us again right? It's meant to happen.

Oprah: yea yea sure… Now go.

Mokona: We'll be back you guys!!!

Oprah: Or not.

Watanuki with broken leg: Great… Can we please go home?...

Joe: Not until I break your other leg!!!!

Watanuki: noooooooooooooooooooooo…

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------#-----------------------------------------------------**

A/N- ok this one is crap but I'm still a bit asleep… I'll do better next time xD please give me ideas!!!


End file.
